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Part One:

Hello. I'm website correspondent Robin Ruinsky. Recently I was privileged to sit down for a little talk with Ozzie Ostrich, the unknown star of the Oscar winning film The English Patient. This is part one of that interview:

 

 

 

 

 

Handsome Ozzie Ostrich spends a free day on the range with lovely wife, actress Graceful (Grace) Ostrich. 


RR: "Ozzie, how were you discovered for the role of THE OSTRICH in the Academy Award winning film, The English Patient?"

OZ:"Well, you see, I reside at the London Zoo. I have been an actor for many years, appearing in many films. I was the stand-in for Gwenyth Paltrow in her scenes as Romeo in Shakespeare in Love.

 RR: And The English Patient?

OZ: Oh, yes, I do digress. Anthony was looking for just the right Ostrich for the pivotal Ostrich scene in the English Patient. Personally, I would have loved to play Count Almasy and think I would have done a fine job, but as you know I didn't get that role.

RR: And how did you get the role of the Ostrich?

OZ: I do digress. Anthony was at the zoo and I did my best to get his attention. It worked and before I knew it I was in the desert acting my feathers off.

RR: What was it like working with Mr. Minghella?

OZ: Working with Anthony Minghella was like looking into the face of God. Truly an inspiring event in my life.

RR: My goodness. That is quite an endorsement. Denholm, the dead rabbit told me he was a bit disgruntled at being tossed about and then having his scene cut. How did you feel when your scene was cut?

OZ: I wasn't disgruntled. After all I've been in the business for many years and know the ups and downs of it. But I do admit to a great deal of disappointment that my finest work was not in the final cut. I know I would have received a best supporting actor nomination if I had been seen.

RR: You never know. You do know that your scene is on the laser disk?

OZ: Really? I'm verklempt!

RR: Here's a tissue.

OZ: Can I tell you a funny little story?

RR: By all means, do!

OZ: Willem Defoe and I still joke about how both our characters had no thumbs!

RR: Very amusing.

OZ: Of course his part wasn't cut.

Ozzie's wife Graceful enters the room. She is a beautiful ostrich, tall and well, graceful.

OZ: Graceful! Robin, meet my wife, Graceful. She is an actress, you know.

RR: Graceful, you have many film credits including acting as stand in for Kristin Scott Thomas in The English Patient.

G: You know so much about me it's a wonder you need to speak to me at all.

OZ: Graceful, dearest, you should be flattered so much is known about your career.

G: I suppose next you're going to tell me I should be quiet, give the Nanny the day off and go sit on the egg.


To be continued...

 

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